well, i am once again at work. it wouldn't be half bad if i didn't feel so bad today. i have been sick as a dog since saturday! but being the trooper that i am, i still came to work. about 1.5 hrs late, but nontheless, i showed.

kinda wish didn't being that first thing this morning i got chewed out by both my supervisor and my boss. my is actually pretty cool and i usually get along quite well with him. but nontheless i still got chewed out. boy, what a way to start my day. i didn't take lunch today in an attempt to make up the lost time, and now look at me, wondering around bored out of my mind. *shrug*

i guess this day can only get better (knocks on wood), because i really don't think i could take much more at this point right now.

i really wonder why i didn't call in sick this morning. i don't recall the last time i ever called in sick, but it would have been nice and would have made my day much easier. i could be laying in bed right now watching tv or a good dvd.

i don't know, maybe i am just looking for a way to explain my sorrow, my lonelyness.

things haven't been the greatest since i have left the states and moved back to germany. i am alone most of the time and sometimes, even when i have lots of people around me, i still feel alone. it is hard to explain, but a life without love is just harsh, cold and brutal.

i feel like i am talking to threapist!

i have been spending a bit of time in chat rooms lately, but i don't really feel at there either. i need people that i can see and touch. a virtual friend is just that, virtual!

what i desire most in my life is true love! i want someone that i can love and be loved by. i want someone to be there when i wake up in the morning and know that she will be there for me nomatter what. i know that might sound selfish, but i find myself to be a very giving person, just i rarely find myself being the one on the other side!

ok, enough crying already. basically what it all comes down to is that i miss the states and the friends that i have made there, i am lonely and work sucks. but isn't that the story i of millions, so i guess that doesn't make me special. i am just another statistic!

Good Bless,

~Stefan